Dorktastic

When worlds collide Star Wars vs Star Trek

Brandywine Will Participate in Risky Behavior Survey

This spring Brandywine along with Muhlenberg will take part in a national survey for the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Brandywine is one of 16 schools in the state and 200 nationally that was selected at random to obtain a handle on the magnitude of risky behavior among teens. The survey will include questions on tobacco use, dietary habits, physical activity and sexual practices. The survey is completely voluntary and parental approval is required. The students and the school district will be totally anonymous.

Ads For Everything

Faced with a 30% cutbacks on school supplies a teacher in suburban San Diego came up with a novel solution. Teaching A.P. Calculus he liked to give his students enough long test so they would be prepared for the A.P. exam. He calculated that at 3 cents a page he would have a $500 copying bill and he was only allocated $316 in his budget.

"Tough times call for tough actions," he says. So he started selling ads on his test papers: $10 for a quiz, $20 for a chapter test, $30 for a semester final.

San Diego magazine and The San Diego Union-Tribune featured his plan just before Thanksgiving, and Farber came home from a few days out of town to 75 e-mail requests for ads. So far, he has collected $350. His semester final is sold out.

About two-thirds of Farber's ads are inspirational messages underwritten by parents. Others are ads for local businesses, such as two from a structural engineering firm and one from a dentist who urges students, "Brace Yourself for a Great Semester!"

Principal Paul Robinson says reaction has been "mixed," but he notes, "It's not like, 'This test is brought to you by McDonald's or Nike.' "

To Farber, 47, it's a logical solution: "We're expected to do more with less."

The next logical step would be to incorporate the ads into the exam questions.

If you have a 12 oz can of refreshing coke with a 2mm diameter hole in the bottom how fast would it empty?

Matt can run the mile in 6 minutes how fast can he run the mile in a new pair of Nikes Air Pegasus that (normally $120 but with the coupon found at the bottom of the page you can buy them at 20% off), if they increase his speed by 7.6%.

The possibilities are endless.

Quick Reminder

If by some chance you don't have time is running out to order your Festivus Pole These Festivus poles are created with the finest aluminum with the very highest strength-to-weight ratio.

Cosmo Kramer: Is there a tree?

Frank Costanza: No, instead, there's a pole. It requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.

Frank Costanza: It's made from aluminium. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.

Mr. Kruger: I find your belief system fascinating.

Don't delay December 23rd will be here before you know it.

Senator Won't Have To Smell The Tourist

Years behind schedule and over 3 times the original budget the Capitol Visitors Center opened today. At least it is in time so the delicate sensibilities of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid won't be offended by the smell of the sweaty masses this summer.

"My staff tells me not to say this, but I'm going to say it anyway," said Reid in his remarks. "In the summer because of the heat and high humidity, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol. It may be descriptive but it's true."

At only $685 million money well spent if it saves Senator Reid from any discomfort. Looks like with Senator Biden gone from the Senate, Sen. Reid has taken up the slack in the stupid remarks department.

Man's Greatest Mystery Solved By 9 Year Old

As a result of a third grade writing class a 9 year old now has a two book deal with a major book publisher Harper Collins. The author of "How To Talk to Girls" was interviewed by a local TV station and featured on the Ellen DeGeneres Show [insert snide comment]. "How To Talk To Girls II" is now in the works.

The Smell of School

The sense of smell has long been recognized as a trigger for memories both good and bad. An entrepreneur is capitalizing on the warm but fuzzy college memories with a line of perfumes and colognes inspired by different colleges.

The first one happens to be Penn State inspired by its blue and white colors and its campus vegetation. The perfume smells of vanilla, lilac, rose and white patchouli. The cologne smells of blue cypress and cracked pepper. A better choice than the odor of chalk dust, organic chemistry labs, spilled beer and a faint whiff of burning rope.

Designer Babies

Companies are now marketing DNA testing to parents of preschoolers so they can involve them in sports most suited to their genetic makeup.

BOULDER, Colo. — When Donna Campiglia learned recently that a genetic test might be able to determine which sports suit the talents of her 2 ½-year-old son, Noah, she instantly said, Where can I get it and how much does it cost?

Nothing in the article indicated what these parents would do if the DNA test came back with your child will be a total klutz. Guess it is just old fashion to allow a child to do what they enjoy doing.

Bet'cha This Will Go Far

Instead of the government wasting trillions of dollars they don't have bailing out companies what appears to be on a random basis or bringing back the New Deal that didn't work, Rep. Gohmert of Texas has an interesting proposal for only 1.2 trillion forgiveness of 2008 income taxes. It has been oblivious for weeks that the smart boys don't have a clue what to do so let everyone in the country have a shot at using their own money to help companies.

President-elect Obama ran on a ticket of change so he should be all in favor of doing something a little different instead of nominating the same old retreads and dusting off 70 year old recipes for disaster. The best so far has been Hillary as Secretary of State so she can receive those 3 AM phone calls.

Rep. Gohmert idea is cheaper, will start working immediately and won't create new agencies and programs that will last long after their intended usefulness is over.

Save Rockland

By taking advice from the Japanese Labor Minister.

Japan's workers are being urged to switch off their laptops, go home early and use what little energy they have left on procreation, in the country's latest attempt to avert demographic disaster...

A recent survey of married couples under 50 found that more than a third had not had sex in the previous month.

Many couples said they didn't have the energy for sex, while others said they found it boring.

A Woman's Right To Shoes

In England the nanny state continues to grow more and more idiotic:

Itsh not their fault, you shee. Itsh the shoesh.

Drunk women who stagger about in high heels are to be protected - at public expense - from twisting their ankles. They will be handed flip-flops to wear by police outside nightclubs as they wend their way home. The scheme is part of a £30,000 drive by police and councillors to prevent 'alcohol-related harm'. It has been prompted by fears that women wearing stilettos or similar footwear could tumble over. Officials also claim that female revellers are at risk of cutting the soles of their feet by walking barefoot. The flip-flops will be given to anyone whose footwear is 'uncomfortable, inappropriate or soiled' and will be paid for with a Home Office grant.

The pictures are worth the click.

Two Thanksgiving Links

One is a sign of the times from where else California. For years kindergartners from two schools took turns visiting the other school. One would dress like injuins and one like pilgrim using the costumes they made. Now it looks like that will stop by some overly educated idgit.

On the lighter side now you can watch one of the best Thanksgiving shows ever in its entirety. The WKRP episode where they dropped turkeys from a helicopter "As God is my witness I thought Turkeys could fly." Should put up a guy poll who is the hottest Jennifer or Bailey.

To Buy Children’s Gifts, Mothers Do Without

Come Christmas, McKenna Hunt, a gregarious little girl from Safety Harbor, Fla., will receive the play kitchen and the Elmo doll she wants. But her mother, Kristen Hunt, will go without the designer jeans she covets this season. More

What A 21st Century Depression Look Like

You might want to ask for a hat this Christmas to look sharp standing in the bread lines.












Pundits discuss the different look a full blown depression would take today versus the 1930s. How secure is a pundit job during a depression?